Submitting to Joseph

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. 

Matthew 1:19

In the story of Mary’s miraculous conception as a virgin, we are never told how she explained everything to Joseph. Nowhere in the Scriptures does it give us a view into the discussion they had or how she broke the news to him.

We do know from Scripture that he knew about the conception and was considering how to deal with the issue. It would appear from the Scripture that Joseph did not yet believe that the conception was a miracle of God, as he was determining how to put her away secretly.

Mary had already submitted to the Father, when she had said to the angel who brought her the news of the Virgin Birth, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to your word.”  Now, she had to submit to Joseph and whatever he decided to do. She must have been so fearful telling Joseph the news and knowing that from a mere person, it would certainly sound completely unbelievable. Had I been in her place, I would have been wishing for the angel of the Lord to appear right then and confirm the story.

We do not know how everything happened, but knowing that Mary was chosen to carry the Savior because she was a godly woman who loved the Lord, we can assume that she sought the Lord before, during and after this conversation.

We can probably assume that she relied on Scripture to encourage her in this difficult time. Perhaps she clung to the prophecy in Isaiah that she was helping to fulfill: “Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” (Isaiah 7:14)

And, just as she praised the Lord earlier, in what we often call Mary’s Magnificat (Luke 1), perhaps she was able to continue praising the Lord and reminding herself of His greatness toward her: “For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant; for behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed. For He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name.” (Luke 1:48-49)

And, perhaps she even relied on the Bible’s teaching of her role as wife to Joseph, as she awaited the impending marriage. Proverbs 31 gives some beautiful instruction that may have helped Mary and that can certainly help us in times of difficulties in marriage: “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:10-12)

Later in this same rich section of the book of Proverbs, there is encouragement as well, which Mary could claim as her own as she sought to be a virtuous wife to her future husband:  “Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.” (Proverbs 31:25)

We don’t know how Mary told Joseph the unbelievable news of her miraculous pregnancy, but we do know that however she did it, it ultimately brought about a softness in Joseph to want to protect her from public humiliation and to deal with the issue privately.

And, we know that Mary’s faithfulness to be true to her God brought her unimagined joy when Joseph was visited by the angel who confirmed Mary’s words. As the Scripture records it, “Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife …” 

This is a perfect picture of godly submission and its many fruits. May we too lean on the Scriptures to bring us through our trials; may we praise Him for all that He has done in our lives so far; and may we lead the life He has called us too, knowing that His perfect plans will come to pass.